Sajid Khan bats for Anushka Sharma in new funny column


THANK DOG IT'S WEDNESDAY

Truth hurts... Well, not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it still hurts. And the truth is that we Indians are very emotional. Emotional fools, at times.

ALCO-OGLE!
Let me explain... An old friend of mine from Delhi used to get drunk at parties and hit on women. The next morning, feigning amnesia in front of his wife, he would blame his lewd behaviour on alcohol, gaining her confused sympathy. Till eventually his bhaanda broke at one party where he got so drunk that he started flirting with his own wife. So it wasn't the sharaab; it was just that his intention was always kharaab.

US V/S THEM
It happens like that often. During elections, every political party talks very little of what good they would do if elected to power. Mostly, their propaganda is towards how bad and worthless the rival party is. So basically, it's their 'blame' (towards the others) that gains them votes.

HOME ADVANTAGE OR VIRAT'S LOVE?
Well, we all know how badly India lost to Australia in the semi-finals of this year's World Cup. Australia... the World Champions of 2015. We lost to Australia. Australia in Australia. And in what? In a game of cricket where two teams play - one has to win and the other has to lose. So my question of this week to all the weak-minded people is: How can Anushka Sharma be blamed for anything at all?

WHY BLAME ANUSHKA?
Let's speak statistics. India hasn't won a single match against Australia in the last six months. Nobody pointed a finger towards Anushka then so why now? When we never credit a woman for a man's success, how can we blame her for his failure? No one blamed Victoria when David Beckham failed to score in the FIFA World Cup. No one blamed Steffi Graf when Andre Agassi played bad tennis.

Tennis se yaad aaya. A friend of mine who was a tennis coach had multiple affairs with women and when I asked him why, he just said: Love all!

BLAME ANUSHKA FOR...
Moving back to all the disgruntled Indian cricket fans, please stop blaming Anushka for Virat Kohli's dismal performance. If you want to blame her for anything, blame her for the excessive violence in NH10 (which I thoroughly enjoyed). Talking of NH10, I was a bit lost in the first 20 minutes because my driver took a wrong route and we were actually on NH8!!!

DHONI KO KAUN TAAL SAKTA HAI?
Mahendra Singh Dhoni is the ideal Indian captain. And he is also the ideal Indian. The man turned father for the first time but did not leave the World Cup for even a day to see his child's face as he himself said he was on national duty. And apparently, some disgruntled cricket fans threw stones at his house after the defeat in the semi-finals.

DON'T BLAME, AIM!
Let's be honest here. After India's non-performance in the Tri-Series (ODIs and Tests), if someone had said that Dhoni would motivate his team and reach the semi-finals of the World Cup, most cricket fans would have laughed it off. I, too, was sorely but not entirely disappointed when India lost the semi-finals because they lost to the world champions of 2015 and that too on their home turf. So yaar, let's stop blaming and let's start aiming... for victory in the next World Cup.

To round it off, let's make a resolution till next week (at least!). Let's not blame anyone or anything for a week and see how it feels. If we feel good, well and good. If we don't, I promise that my next week's column would begin with: Okay, so it didn't work out. Chalo, no problems. Blame me because I blame you.
Sajid Khan bats for Anushka Sharma in new funny column Sajid Khan bats for Anushka Sharma in new funny column Reviewed by Zoe on 5:41 AM Rating: 5

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